


Valentine's Day

by Aubadier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2189535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aubadier/pseuds/Aubadier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider and Jade Harley are twenty-three year old virgins. They plan to change that tonight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> A short and sweet Spacetime fic in a Sburbless AU where the kids grew up together, I guess. Enjoy the show.

The chocolate syrup he held was not for ice cream. Dave guessed as much from the contents of his shopping list. Chocolate bars, whipped cream, condoms, coconut oil, ten feet of rope, several bottles of leather softener, bananas, flank steak, tampons, spermicidal lube. He double-checked the list, neat cursive written using green ink. Dave caught himself turning red at the thought of her graceful hands running across his skin. It's just Jade, for fuck's sake. I’ve got my cool guy shades on and am totally not freaking out at the possibility of crazy hot sex with my dorky best friend. The other shoppers avoided and gave strange looks to the stranger man with a cart full of sex items and desserts. Dave continued to rush through the aisles, unable to remove her naked body from his consciousness.

 

* * *

 

Jade stared at herself in the mirror. Her black dress shimmered as she paced around the room. It’s just Dave, for fuck’s sake. You’ve known him since he was a dumb 13 year old and now he’s just a dumb 23 year old. She was the one who suggested they lose their virginities in the kinkiest way possible, didn’t she? Her usual confidantes were useless in this particular situation. Her best friend Rose kept wiggling her eyebrows suggestively for five solid minutes. “Just make sure he buys the right things, dearie. Vaseline won’t cut it for sex,” Rose concluded. It was clear she was trying her hardest not to laugh. On the other hand, her dearest friend John made it clear that he thought Dave and Jade’s sexytime was absolutely hilarious. “Oh my god Jade what if Dave keeps his stupid shades on the whole fucking time?! Does he even know what a vagina is?! Oh my god Jade ow ow ow okay please stop kicking me Jade agh.” Jade flopped onto her bed and fiddled with a ball gag, wondering what was keeping her old best friend and new boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

Dave stared at her apartment door. All he had to do was knock. He had the sex things in one bag and the normal groceries in the other. The bananas were split between the two bags. It was almost 8p.m. He just had to knock. No big deal, Dave thought to himself. Just the most beautiful person you’ve ever met waiting to ride you like a rodeo bull or something like that. Steeling himself, he knocked twice, his heart accelerating into warp speed with each rap. “Let’s get this raunchy party started,” he said, removing his shades and adjusting his rumpled suit.

 

* * *

 

Jade opened her door and stared at her best friend who was now her boyfriend. Dave stood there holding their groceries. They stood there in awe of each other for at least two minutes before an elderly janitor ambled by and snapped them out of their reverie.

“Hi,” he said, scratching the back of his head.

“Hey,” she replied, a lot more conscious of her bare shoulders.

They stood there in silence until the janitor circled back. “Get a room already,” he muttered. A flustered Jade quickly pulled a surprised Dave inside by his tie and he began to fall on her once again...

_The four of them had just met and started playing together but John pushed Dave too hard and he tripped and fell onto an unsuspecting Jade and the two of them were intertwined and Dave only remembered her warm breathing and soft hair_

_It was middle school and John had dared Dave  to flip the skirt of the next girl that passed around the corner for $20 because the two of them were dumb boys but the instant Dave reached for the stranger’s skirt he knew it wasn’t a stranger at all and that he would have to run so very hard after seeing Jade’s_

_She walked out of the limo with her asshole prom date clad in white and gold looking like a goddess had descended to Earth and in that moment Dave knew he had fucked up by not asking her out and Rose shrugged and nodded_

and he blinked himself back into reality. With his shades off Dave could clearly see the emerald green of her eyes and mentally commended her parents. Jade was a perfect name for their child, that vibrant color that pierced through the armor of his coolness with every glance she gave him. It took Dave a minute to pull himself off of her and start to gather up the contents of the spilled plastic bags.

“Sorry, Jade! That was- happened a- tits- quick- dumb- I-”

He was quickly cut off by the sound of snorting laughter.

“Dave, 4 bottles of Vaseline? Fifty condoms? What the fuck is all of this?” she asked, tears rising to her eyes. “This is even better than what I asked for, holy shit!”

“It was on sale and I was  thinking of you naked and wait fuck did I really say that out loud?”

Jade guffawed even harder. “Dave, you’re such an idiot.” She wiped the tears away from her face and kissed him, giggling into the kiss. Dave tensed up slightly, placing a hand on the small of her back.

She placed a finger on his lips and smiled at him.

“Let’s head to bed, lover boy,” she said, pulling him up. “I’ve got some Valentine’s gifts waiting for you in the bed. I hope you like wearing leather, honey!”

Dave had no idea how sore he would be the next morning.

They finished all the bananas before the end of the night.


End file.
